I don’t think I could ever really describe our week at Burning Man. It’s something that no words, stories, pictures, or videos could ever do justice to. Now, I know this is going to sound very cliche. Still, it really is true - you just have to experience it for yourself to understand and feel the energy, connection, magic and creativity that comes to life in the desert. As I sit here, having now returned to the “default world” and recovered from the post-burn blues, I can confidently say that despite the highs, lows, sleep deficits, dust everywhere, and challenges, I would 100% do it all over again.
So, while I will try to document some of the experiences, lessons, and moments from the week, please know that I’ll never be able to do the experience justice. There were so many moments that had to be felt physically and emotionally, and some that won’t ever make it into the digital media world - you’ll have to ask me in person to hear those ones ;) I’ve split my writing about BM into two posts. This one will cover all the nitty gritty deets around what it is, the preparation, what I would do differently, what we did and didn’t use and some other helpful things. Part 2 will be about my experience throughout the week, so stay tuned for that one.
What is Burning Man?
For those unfamiliar with Burning Man, it’s an annual week-long event held in the Nevada Desert, where participants create an entirely temporary city, namely, Black Rock City. The city is designed, created and built 100% by participants without any monetary or commercial gain. Everyone has to be completely self-sufficient, meaning you bring everything you need for the week, including water. This deters many people, as does the prospect of having dust everywhere. You also have to pack out everything that you bring in. There is no money exchange except to buy ice, and the whole city is run on a gifting culture. The event is guided by the ten principles set out by the founder and acts as a reflection of the communities ethos and culture. They are:
Radical Inclusion
Gifting
Decommodification
Radical Self-reliance
Radical Self-expression
Communal Effort
Civic Responsibilities
Leave No Trace
Participation
Immediacy
These principles and foundations of Burning Man make it a stark contrast to the world we know and live in. I would say that if you are an open-minded, growth-oriented, creative, loving, fun, and accepting human, then there is a good chance that Burning Man is probably your vibe. If you also don’t mind being dirty, can handle extreme weather conditions, are okay with not having all your creature comforts and can be self-reliant, then it could be an experience for you.
The Prep
What a beast. I think this part weeds out a lot of people as it is intense and does require a lot of time and effort. But when you put in the work it makes the reward oh so sweet. For us, having been doing vanlife for several months already we felt pretty prepared for the “self-reliant” part. We have everything we need in our van, aside from a toilet. However, a toilet is the one thing you don’t need to bring as portaloos are available all over the city. Although we had many of the essentials covered, the preparation was still hectic, and honestly, this was the most stressful part of Burning Man for us. Cue Dan and I having a near meltdown in the Canadian Tyre car park in Calgary. The overwhelm of how much we had to get done, all the things we had to buy and the limited amount of time we had, plus the amount of driving we had to do to get there, did overwhelmed me at one point. But in our usual fashion the meltdown was the circuit breaker we needed to realise that our wellbeing mattered more than all of the prep. If we were coming into Burning Man run down, disconnected and/or sick, that would be worse than if we missed a few items on our list. We also learned that the community and willingness of others to help is such a beautiful catch if you are in desperate need of something…. “the playa always provides”.
Food:
Preparing food for eight days and only having a teeny tiny fridge was going to be difficult; throw in my GF restriction and also wanting to make it a priority to have nourishing food…. it was a challenge. We also didn’t want to eat backcountry meals every night like some people do (no shade, just not my vibe). After doing my research, we decided to prep for two meals each day and go hard on snacks. We were told you won’t eat as much as you think you will. It was true. We slept in late most mornings when we weren’t out catching the sunrise. You also don’t feel like eating or cooking in the heat of the day, and you’ll be surprised at how much food will be offered as gifts from other beautiful souls. E.g. delicious NYC deli brekky bacon and egg rolls (even with GF bread, wtf), hot fresh wood-fired pizza, smoothies, snowcones…. Overall, our prep for food worked a treat, and we were well nourished throughout.
Bikes:
Bikes are a must. The playa is just too big to be trying to get around on foot. Everyone told us you have to have a bike. We picked up my bike from a seller on Facebook marketplace on the way down to BM. This sounds easy, but when you are road-tripping, trying to line up a seller within your very small timeframe of passing through a town, it isn’t so easy. For Dan’s bike, we got a clearance bike from Canadian tyre for $99, along with a bike rack. We have been happy to have the bikes with us since BM. The dust can wreck them so a lot of people choose to donate the bikes after the event to one of the many organisations taking in bikes and donating them to communities in need.
Relationships:
We had read and been warned by people that Burning Man can make or break couples. We also saw this for ourselves as after BM we arrived in Lake Tahoe, we bumped into a fellow burner who recognised our dusty van and asked if we had a good time. After exchanging remarks about our time, he confessed that he had broken up with his partner at Burning Man, and the poor man looked very broken. I’m grateful that our experience, fortunately, was not this, and we came away more connected than ever before. I do think it all lies in the kind of relationship that you have built before attending BM. Throw in dust storms, scorching heat, dehydration, freezing nights, social environments like no other, seeing sides of your partner that you might not have seen before and not to forget the sheer exhaustion that sets in towards the end of the week. If you haven’t got your communications and conflict resolution skills sorted, then I can totally see how it could be a recipe for disaster.
The most important part of our preparation, in my opinion, was talking about our intentions, boundaries, aspirations and expectations for Burning Man as individuals and as a couple ahead of the week.
In short, it's called “ibae” I think we will continue to use this little acronym as it served us so well. We both jotted down notes for each category and then came together to discuss them. I would also do this if I was going with close friends/family, as it’s just such a wild environment. You can make plans but plans don’t go to plan. You can set a time to meet, but something runs overtime or pulls you in another direction, and you have to accept that you and everyone are running on playa time (kinda like island time). With no reception or way of communicating, things can go awry but its’s all part of the magic. When you do eventually find your friends or lover in the desert, it makes it even more special.
What I would do differently next time:
I’m giving myself grace because we didn’t know what we didn’t know, but I do now, so if I were to go again, here are a few things I’d do differently:
Burning Man is like an endurance event. And just like running a marathon, you must do the prep and manage your wellbeing. We prepared very well for the event regarding joining a camp, our relationship, water, food, clothes, bikes, emergency supplies, first aid stuff etc. But I found managing my FOMO the hardest. There is just SO much on every single day! It’s so tempting to want to do it all but it’s also easy to have the days roll by and miss workshops you wanted to attend. It REALLY challenges the balance between FOMO vs your well-being, and it’s a constant flux.
Next time, I would save seeing the sunrise till the end of the week. While getting up or staying up to see the sunrise is epic and gotta be done, it totally messes up your sleep. I saw a couple of sunrises early in the week and told myself I would nap later in the day. But trying to nap in the sweltering heat of our van wasn’t exactly easy. This left me feeling pretty tired even at the start of the week, and I didn’t exactly find ways to catch up on sleep….well, because there was just too much fun and exploration to be had.
Another thing I would do next time is to download the app “Dust and iBurn” much earlier. These apps have all the events, sets, workshops and camps along with times and locations so you can see what is on. I would put in time before the event to save and mark which events I really wanted to attend. But in the same vein, I think it’s also best to acknowledge that some of the most memorable moments are ones that you don’t plan and allow yourself to just follow your curiosity. So I think finding more of a balance between marking a few key workshops and letting yourself explore wherever your curiosity takes you on the day.
Receiving without any need for reciprocity was one of my favourite parts of Burning Man. I am really inspired to be able to give in a more meaningful way next time I attend BM. This time, we gave through our time with setting up and packing down camp, running two workshops and giving food that was shared around. Still, in future, I would love to gift more thoughtfully - like bringing useful items to give away, running an engaging workshop that is more geared to my personal areas of interest, or baking some GF treats.
Finally, next time, I would volunteer if I wasn’t part of a really active camp. Someone in our camp volunteered at the BRC airport, and in exchange, she got to go on a flight over BRC with one of the pilots! I would 100% do this next time to contribute more, meet more people outside of camp and get a different experience from BM. I was keen to volunteer in the medical team, but sadly, you need to be registered in the state of Nevada to do so, which I certainly was not.
What did we use:
Baby wipes, head torches, goggles, neck buff, fluffy coat, she-wees (trust me on this - you just don’t feel like trekking to the toilets in the freezing cold early mornings and you can’t wee on the playa), bikes, bike locks, electrolytes and our water bladders in backpacks.
What we didn’t use:
Back up food supplies.
One thing I wish I bought more of:
More battery-operated lights to use on nights out and better outfits.
How much did it cost?
Dan loves a spreadsheet, so he kept track of our spending. I think it’s helpful to share if people are interested in doing BM in the future and want to save or put money aside. In total, for two people, we spent 6.4k together, so 3.2k AUD each. Now that includes literally everything: tickets, vehicle pass, camp dues, bikes, bike rack, all the food, water, meds/first aid stuff, fuel to get from Calgary to Black Rock City, and all the random things you end up buying for the week. While at BM, we only paid for one bag of ice, and that was it! This number doesn’t include flights from Australia or a hire car - we just drove from Canada in the van we already own. Many international burners hire RV’s with a group and do it that way, which would be so much fun. For me, every single dollar was 100% worth it for the incredible experience, lessons, connections, and memories we got from this week.
Final thoughts
A big thing that I have learnt is that what people think Burning Man is, is very different to what it actually is. I quickly learnt that it’s your burn, and it can be whatever you make of it. There is literally a pocket for everything: music, art, creativity, community, exploration of self-expression, spirituality, self-love, body confidence, food, party, play, sustainability and sexuality. Educational workshops of all kinds, music, dance, rituals, you name it… it’s probably at Burning Man. For example, I was genuinely very surprised to find that there was a workshop on postpartum depression. I imagine that many people get their impressions about Burning Man from social media or the news. Yes, I am sure there is certainly a pocket of people who go to Burning Man just for the Instagram pics, status or to take drugs and party. Yes, the news will always report on the “bad, attention-grabbing, fear-based” headlines like the one person who fell from an art piece or the mud that left people stuck last year. But speak to people who have actually gone, and you will hear many different things, as everyone’s experience is unique to them. There are people of all ages and walks of life that attend BM. For example, in our camp, the eldest burner was 88, and I also saw many families with young children and even infants strapped to their chests - KUDOS to those parents.
Stay tuned for part 2 where I’ll spill some of the highlights, lowlights, lessons and moments in between from my week on the playa.
With love and gratitude,
Madz xoxo
Amazing Maddy, loved it 🫶🏻💕✨
Wow guys! This must be such a core memory experience. Thanks for sharing ❤️
I never knew that families with young kids are going to BM. That’s something else.. Like you said, kudos for those parents.